Hello Readers,

I wanted to write about something that’s been weighing on my mind for quite a while now: mental health and the importance of a work-life balance. This is something I’ve struggled with over the past several years until only recently, and I feel it’s important to share my story in the hopes that it might help someone else going through a similar situation.

For a long time, I found myself caught in a vicious cycle of anxiety and depression. This cycle was fed by the grind of a demanding job where I was constantly stressed, anxious, overworked and under appreciated, health concerns that fed in to the anxiety, money woes that fed anger, and problems in my relationship with my wife due to her work-life balance and our lack of communication.

All of these issues fed one another and I just began to sink further and further down in to a depressive state. All the while, keeping a happy face on and continually saying “Everything is fine”. My friends and family, except for my wife, had no idea what I was going through. I put on a brave face, hiding the turmoil inside because I didn’t want to worry them. But the truth was, I was struggling more than I could admit.

Each issue listed above exacerbated the others, creating a seemingly endless cycle of stress and anxiety to the point I needed to and ended up getting some counseling. I had a few sessions, which did help. Just being able to empty my mind and soul, spill everything out, was a breath of fresh air, but money was still tight, and I couldn’t keep going with the sessions forever.

I turned to meditation which I will admit, felt kind of silly at first. As I got in to the rhythm though, I found it really did help calm the mind, ease my over thinking brain (yes I am definitely an overthinker) and I realized that I just had to remove one chink in the chain of this vicious cycle and the rest would begin to heal.

Communication was key with my wife Sarah. The moment we both began to open up, the better things got and it helped a LOT. The toxic work environment was the biggest issue though and it was the thing that was taking a toll on my mental health the most. The pressure was relentless, and it felt like no matter how hard I worked, it was never enough. I was drowning in a sea of expectations and deadlines, and I was passed over for a promotion that went to someone who did not deserve it. Even more than that, I still ended up doing the work that that promotion would have been for because the person who was hired was the definition of “fake it until you make it”. So I had all of the work with none of the compensation or recognition. I was losing sight of the things that truly mattered. My passion for life, my hobbies, and even my relationships were being overshadowed by the constant stress and anxiety.

It wasn’t an easy decision, but I knew I had to make a change. With the support and encouragement of my wife, I decided to leave that job and seek out a healthier, more balanced work environment. The transition was tough, but it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. As I described in a previous post, I was offered a position on Vancouver Island which aligned with where I wanted to be in the world, both physically and professionally.

Since then, I’ve been on a steady path of improvement. I’ve learned the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing my mental health. I’ve reconnected with nature, spending more time outdoors and finding solace in the beauty of the world around me. Hiking through forests, standing by the ocean, and breathing in the fresh mountain air have all played a crucial role in my healing process. Also being able to spend more time with my wife and son, both inside playing games and outside exploring the world. My new job and role affords me the work-life balance I so desperately needed.

I’ve also started writing again, sharing my thoughts and experiences on this blog. It’s been incredibly therapeutic, allowing me to process my emotions and gain clarity. Through this journey, I’ve realized that mental health isn’t just about the absence of illness; it’s about finding balance, purpose, and joy in everyday life.

To anyone out there who might be feeling overwhelmed or stuck in a toxic situation, I want you to know that it’s okay to take a step back and prioritize yourself. It’s okay to seek help and make changes for the sake of your well-being. You deserve to live a life that brings you happiness and fulfillment.

We just passed June, which is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month and it was during this month that I began to reflect on the past few years, the changes I’ve made, where we are now and how I have begun to heal. My relationship with my wife is the strongest it has ever been, and things are good.

As I continue to navigate this journey, I hope to inspire others to do the same. Remember, your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Take care of yourself, set boundaries, and don’t be afraid to make the necessary changes to create a life that nurtures your soul. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help.

I’ll leave you with a quote that has resonates deeply with me (especially as an IT professional 😉)

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes to reboot, including you.” – Anne Lamott

Take a moment to unplug, find your balance, and remember that you are worth it.

Thanks for reading everyone. Remember, you only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. Embrace the adventure, cherish the moments, and I’ll catch you next time!
~Rob